For some reason, we all end up spending time with people we shouldn’t. Some would consider these people “toxic” to our mental health. Or maybe you are that toxic person for some people. But for the time being let’s focus on those in your life who mess with your bliss. Toxic individuals can distract you from your wants and needs, goals and ambitions, and challenge your health. This keeps you in a cycle of unhappiness and stress and that can have serious mental, emotional and physical ramifications. So how do we kick those toxic folks to the curb?

Narrow down who is actually toxic in your life

Toxic people are not those who are simply a bit of a drag and depressive. These people may just be generally undesirable to you. You may want to create a bit of distance with those people too, but there isn’t an urgency to cut them out of your life, exactly. In general, truly toxic people exhibit the following: they try to control and manipulate you, disregard and disrespect your boundaries, take a lot and give very little or not at all, insist that they are always right no matter what, have a general air of dishonesty, enjoy and even savor being the victim, and they never take responsibility for their actions.

Why getting rid of toxic people is so important

Have a few people popped up in your mind now that you have gone through the above list? If so, these people are draining you and are making it difficult for you to focus on what you need. In truth, very rarely do toxic people totally ruin your chances for self-improvement. But they make it so hard and no one likes to progress slowly. In the end, you want someone who is going to make your life better not harder. Toxicity is contagious; that kind of mentality and behaviour can spread and you do not want to catch it. Negativity is way more infectious than positivity. Therefore removing toxic people from your life is crucial.

How to remove toxic people

This should always be done with a lot of thought and finesse. Accept that it might be a process and understand that distancing yourself from a toxic person is a gradual process. Never feel like you owe them a big explanation. Keep it simple and tell them kindly how you feel and why you are doing what you’re doing. Talk to them in a public place so that they do not get physically angry or act out and block them on social media. This last part might seem harsh, but it is necessary for you to clean out the toxins in your life and be able to think more freely. Try not to argue and simply restate your boundaries and distance your self from the person. In the end, distance instead of separation may be all you need, but trust your feelings (as the Jedi would say), and go with what you know your heart and mind need.