We all know what anger is and what it feels like. Although we all know what anger is and may know some of our triggers, you may not know that when you feel anger, there is something underneath it . This hidden reason can tell a bigger story about you and unlock your true emotions behind that anger.

Why Do We Feel Anger?

Anger is a normal feeling that everyone can have, mostly as a response to emotional or physical pain. Whenever we feel angry, there is a hidden meaning underneath that feeling. We don’t always want to show our true feelings, therefore it is much easier to hide those feelings and cover them up with anger. You may not even know yourself, sometimes.

Think of anger like an iceberg. Most of an iceberg is hidden underwater. Anger is the part of the iceberg that we see above the water and the hidden part could be emotions such as embarrassment, fear, grief, loneliness, trauma, disgust, envy, and more, down below.

Why Do People Hide Their Feelings?

Many people hide their true feelings behind their anger. This could be done for several different reasons. These reasons include:

To cover up their weaknesses. Some people are afraid of showing emotion. They may not want others to see their vulnerabilities. They could be afraid that others will judge them and use their feelings against them.

To avoid getting their feelings hurt. It is very common for someone to hide their emotions to protect the relationships they have. They may not want to react or speak out about something that bothers them to avoid triggering other topics that may eventually lead to more conflicts.

To mask their lack of confidence. Some people grow up being told that their feelings are not valid or are criticized for expressing their emotions. Therefore, they begin to mask their emotions from an early age to prevent any more criticism in the future.

How Does Excessive Anger Affect You?

Excessive anger and masking your emotions too often can negatively affect your physical and emotional wellbeing. If can lead to the following things:

A buildup of emotions. Holding back emotions can intensify them. You will eventually have a burst of emotions that may affect anyone who is around you during that time. It is best to let yourself feel the emotion you are feeling at that moment.

Strained relationships. When you hide your feelings from others, you may think you are protecting the relationships in your life. Although you may tell people you are fine and that nothing is wrong, those who know you can sense that something isn’t right. If they notice that you aren’t telling them the truth, they might feel hurt and can begin to lose trust in you.

Early death. Suppressing emotions can cause stress that may linger in your body. With time, all the stress can contribute to diabetes, sleep issues, high blood pressure, and heart problems.

How Can You Stop Suppressing Your Emotions?

Learning how to stop suppressing your emotions can be difficult, especially when you have been doing it for the majority of your life. It takes time and effort. These strategies can help you to learn to share your feelings openly.

Practice mindfulness! Mindfulness is an exercise in which the person learns to focus only on what they are doing in the present moment. Sitting with emotions allows you to fully experience and deeply understand them.

Talk to a therapist! Talking to a therapist can help you learn how to express your emotions, offer strategies to cope with intense emotions, and address any mental health symptoms linked to your hidden emotions.

Remember that your emotions are valid and it is perfectly okay to feel show vulnerability. As long as you can eventually calm yourself down and resolve any issues, then you will be okay. If you need any help dealing with your emotions, don’t be ashamed to seek help!

Resources:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/hiding-feelings

https://www.mentalhelp.net/anger/