Today, gossiping can be considered a national pastime. There are several reasons why people gossip. One is that people who engage in gossip feel privileged. Imagine seeing your not-so-favorite teacher in the middle of the road with a flat tire, cursing like a sailor. You can’t wait to share this with those who feel the same way about that teacher. It’s like you have the inside scoop and you’re telling everyone that this not-so-favorite teacher is not prim and proper after all.

Another reason why people spread gossip is so they can feel better about themselves. Just picture getting into an exclusive movie premiere and you see a girl you don’t really like waiting desperately at the door to get in. You may feel it is not enough to see her like that—you want your friends to know you saw her in that situation, and you will probably even make something up, like she was being hysterical and bawling like a baby.

However, what happens when you become the subject of a hurtful gossip? You’ll probably realize then, that gossip has an ugly side. Here are three ways to turn things around when the shoe is on the other foot:

1) Find people who have your back. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Instead, talk to family, friends, and classmates who know the real you. Don’t hold anything back. Tell them that you are hurt by the rumor, and they will most likely provide you a shoulder to cry on. Eventually, with the right amount of support, you will find the strength to move forward.

2) Confront the person who is spreading the rumor. If you have a clear idea of who is spreading gossip about you, talk to that person in a calm manner. Don’t flare up since this reaction may be something that he or she is waiting for. Instead, try to figure out why they are doing what they are doing and explain your side of the story. It could have been a simple case of miscommunication or misunderstanding.

3) Let it die a natural death. If the gossip isn’t going away even after you have talked to the person who is spreading it, it would probably be best to ignore it and move on. At times, silence is the best defense. However, it is a different story when you feel you are being bullied; report the person to school authorities ASAP. Eventually, gossip that doesn’t elicit a reaction will die a natural death. What you can do for the meantime is to avoid gossiping yourself and lead by example. Remember to THINK when you feel the urge to gossip about other people. Is the story Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, and Kind? If it is not any of these things, then stop.

SOURCES:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-science-of-gossip/

http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_deal_with_people_who_gossip_about_you

http://www.wsj.com/articles/what-to-do-when-you-are-the-subject-of-office-gossip-1412701581

http://inspire99.com/10-deeper-ways-to-deal-with-a-rumor-gossip/

http://www.youngandraw.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-gossip-in-a-positive-way/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-8-laws-rumor-spread