With so much happening around us and with so many different parts of our lives to participate in, it can be difficult to give school the focus it deserves. One of the most all-consuming distractions can be trouble at home, when the place that is supposed to be your safe haven is upsetting or unaccepting. There will be many situations and people that you can’t control. The important thing to remember is that YOU CAN control how you handle it.

Here are some exercises you can work on to help maintain a healthy separation between home life and school life:

Imagine the reality you wish to have.
Think about what the opposite of your situation would be, and make that happen at school. For example, if you’ve had an argument with someone at home, make an effort to compliment a friend or potential friend at school. Reverse the damage done and treat a peer how you wish you had been treated, or treat a peer the way you wish you treated that family member at home if you weren’t proud of your reaction. This projection of positivity and warmth will make you feel empowered.

Don’t complain.
It’s good to have friends to confide in and you should be able to vent, but dwelling on home life can drive people away and make you yourself feel worse as it promotes anger and discontent. You can’t control that part of your life; you can only control yourself and what you want. In the end, being angry is exhausting and can leave you feeling empty.

Build relationships with role models.
Often trouble at home can leave you feeling like you’re without guidance. Do you have a teacher at school you admire and respect? Build a relationship with them. Take book recommendations, ask them for advice from time to time, and surround yourself with positive role models and friends who display qualities you yourself wish to possess. Quality in-school relationships will leave you associating education with a sense of well-being.

Create a feel-good playlist.
I know all too well the feeling of leaving home in the morning for school feeling worn down and angry. To turn things around, start to think of ways you can cheer yourself up on the way to school. One way is to create a playlist for your iPod that will help put you in a feel good mood. Get yourself dancing, or get yourself calm and collected. Music is a great way to get out of your head and into your body.

Get involved.
Join an extracurricular activity; find a leadership or teamwork role that you love. By creating a world at school that you’re excited about, you’ll more easily be able to separate problems at home from the way you handle daily school life. Find something to be involved with in which you feel important, but that involves a hobby; something that doesn’t feel too much like work, but makes you feel needed. This will give you something to look forward to when things are rough at home.