Letting things go is a tough task. Whether it involves relationships, a habit you’re trying to break, or a decision you wish you had made, letting go is a hard thing for anyone to do.

In order to “let go”, you must first make that decision. Forgiveness and rebuilding trust takes time. Allow yourself to take that; there’s no rush. Realize what it is that’s making you feel this way, and choose to let that go. Allow yourself to forgive the situation or person that is putting this pressure on you. It may be hard for you to let go, or it might be easy; be okay with either of these. Making the decision to let go is the first step to moving on.

Try to bring yourself to the present. Notice that the tension you’re feeling is not caused by an event that is occurring right at this moment and that’s it’s in the past. Think about the place you’re in, the people near you, the objects that you’re surrounded by. If you are having trouble doing this, practice the 5 senses meditation technique: Think or say out loud 5 objects or people that you can see, touch 4 objects and describe them, think or say 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell, and 1 thing that you can taste. Doing meditations like these help you to be grounded instead of holding on to regrets, and therefore makes you unable to let go of what you’re holding onto.

An important part of moving on is not to blame anyone. Try not to blame yourself or others for the pain you’re going through. This can be the most challenging part of letting things go, and can be the reason that blocks people from doing so. It’s an important part of forgiveness to realize that the pain you’re going through is not caused by you or by anyone else. One way of practicing this is by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine how others around you or those involved in the situation that you’re holding onto were feeling. Challenge the thought that’s making it feel like your fault, or someone else’s. Try not to give into the thoughts that are blaming these people because it’s a very strenuous task to move on while experiencing this feeling of blame.

Once you have done these, it’s time to distract yourself. Indulge yourself in doing the things you love. Being creative or active are great ways to do this. If you are having trouble letting go, it is likely that your thoughts are going in spirals. By distracting yourself, you are allowing that spiral to break.

Letting go of the past is difficult, and these things might not all happen at once, and that’s okay. Give yourself the time to let go of the past and to move on. One day, you’ll wake up and realize that you are no longer clinging to the past, and that you have moved on. Be patient, that day will arrive.

Sources:

https://zenhabits.net/letting-go/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on/

https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-ways-to-let-go-of-whats-ailing-you/