Do you ever get angry and have no idea why? Anger has always been a big part of being human. Everyone gets upset from time to time. It is a very powerful emotion that can happen very quickly and do a lot of damage if you are not careful. But it is not all negative. Anger does not come out of nowhere, but rather comes from words someone said, from something not going your way, or from a problem too big to solve. By feeling it, understanding it, and acting on it, you can learn so much more about yourself and turn anger into something positive.

Let yourself feel angry. You are often told not to because it can lead to shouting, fighting, and things getting broken or people getting hurt. There are healthier ways to show anger. You can punch a pillow, go for a run, put on some headphones to listen to music, write about it, or draw something. That anger can even help you do those things better. Studies have shown that letting themselves feel angry has made people stronger and faster when playing sports or other physical activities. Research has even shown that the emotion helps basketball and hockey players shoot better. Allow yourself to be angry, and discover how it can be a positive thing for you.

It is just as important to understand why you are feeling this way. When you experience anger, write down all your thoughts. Rate each thought on a scale of one to ten based on how angry it makes you. Do not try to fully understand It, but just catch your thoughts as they fly by. Make time to meditate and take some deep breaths. This will help with self-control and give you a clearer mind to go over your thoughts. Before you do anything about them, ask yourself what your options are. You can talk to the person who made you upset. You can ask for help to finish the task that was so frustrating. You can open up to a friend about the big problems in your life that you feel you cannot control. Take some time to think about your options and pick the ones that are likely to have the best results.

Anger is a sign that something needs to change. After you have let yourself feel the emotion, and then tried to better understand why you feel that way, it is time to act. This might mean confronting a friend or family member whose words or actions brought about the anger. You deserve to be heard, and can do it in a way that does not blame the other person or make it worse. They are trying to deal with their strong emotions and big problems just like you are. It could also mean trying to finish a school assignment or chore that was frustrating you. Do not be afraid to ask for help, go online for advice on how to do it, and to take your time to get it done right. If the problem is a bigger life issue making you unhappy, then it can be a good idea to talk to a parent or a trusted adult about your issue. Whatever you do, do not just sit on your anger.

Everyone has to deal with anger. It does not make you a weak or bad person. But it is very important to deal with it in a healthy and productive way. Take some time to feel the emotion, to better understand it, and make a plan to act on the issues causing it. You will get a stronger idea of what is happening inside your head and learn more about yourself. It can help improve relationships with your family and friends. Anger can make you better.

Sources:

Lyness, D’Arcy. “Dealing With Anger.” TeensHealth. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/deal-with-anger.html

Robson, David. “How anger can be put to good use.” BBC. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200723-how-anger-can-be-put-to-good-use