By Tiffany Chang

All relationships have their ups and downs. That’s just a part of life. Whether it’s occasional disagreements, personalities clashing, or even betrayals, navigating them can be difficult, especially when you truly want the relationships to work out.

Often times, we come across these situations with our friends.

If this has happened or is currently happening to you, or you’re simply looking for a future reference, here are some words of advice:

Getting Into Arguments with Your Friends is Totally Normal

Everyone is different and therefore has different opinions. Nobody agrees with every person all the time. Actually, healthy arguments in certain cases can be beneficial as they might help people more productively get feelings about things off their chests.

In General, How Do I Handle These Arguments?

All parties might be very upset. However, try not to let negative emotions get the best of you. At times, people say hurtful things to each other out of anger, but they don’t necessarily mean them.

Try taking the following de-escalation steps:

1. When you start to notice the situation getting heated, suggest that everybody take a deep breath and calm down.
2. Go around and have every party explain why they feel the way they do, so there are no misunderstandings.
3. Depending on the situation, maybe you can then come to an agreement or compromise.
4. If the first two steps don’t seem to work, it might be a better idea to give them space. Sometimes it’s essential when emotions are running high.

What to Do When They Seem to Be Ignoring You

After giving your friends space, you may think enough time has passed to try speaking to them again, but they may not feel the same way. It’s understandably frustrating. Of course, it’s difficult to address conflicts when the people you’re having the conflicts with refuse to acknowledge you.

Consider asking your friends to hear you out even when they still don’t seem to want to. Tell them they can respond however they want (or not respond at all) but you just want to let them know how and what you’re feeling.

If what I stated above doesn’t yield the results you were anticipating and the ignoring persists, re-evaluate your friendship with them. Though it may be difficult to accept, there’s a possibility that they don’t believe the friendship is worth fighting for. You can’t control what they do and maybe you aren’t meant to be friends with them at this point in time.

Nonetheless, never say “never.” As implied above, maybe in the future, they’ll have a change of heart, and you could resume your friendships with them. Or maybe, you won’t ever be friends again, but will remain on better terms later on. As time passes, there’s a good chance you’ll have plenty of opportunities to make new friends. For now, keep your distance. People come and go in your life and when the time arrives, you’ll know exactly who your lifelong friends are going to be.