As young children, making friends is as easy as breathing. But coming into adulthood, we can’t just sit down beside another adult and play with blocks. Finding friendships and maintaining them can be difficult as adults. We have to find common interests, balance friendship and work life, and still have time for ourselves. Although it seems difficult, friendship is crucial to a healthy life. Friendships offer a sense of community, belonging and support. When we have good friends, we feel better both physically, and mentally. When discussing friendships and how to make and maintain them, there are a few things to note.

1. Friendships take effort

Like most of everything else in life, we must put in effort to see positive results. Friendships are no different! When we meet people who we want to become friends with, it is important to put in consistent effort to show you’d like a platonic relationship with them. With new friends, this effort may look like making conversation, sharing details about yourself, and finding common interests. As the friendship progresses, you can put effort into spending time together face-to-face. This means scheduling lunch, going for a walk or meeting up somewhere for coffee. Face-to-face time is crucial for maintaining a friendship. This is how we connect best as people. We must make time for our friendships. If we are always prioritizing other things over our friends, that friendship is likely to fizzle out.

2. Put yourself out there

Friendships are hard to find if you’re only at home or work. Part of the process is getting into public places to meet new people. You could go to the park, library, cafe, or gym. At first you may not have much luck, but after visiting multiple times you may see friendly faces. Developing a new routine and going out makes it easier to work up to talking to new people. Also, you could join a club or group that meets frequently. These meetings will encourage you to go out, and will be centered on a topic that already interests you. It will also provide a conversation topic that you know the other person will be interested in.

3. Become friends with yourself

As important as friendship is, we have to find a balance between prioritizing others and prioritizing ourselves. No friendship is ever worth sacrificing your values, beliefs, or sense of self. Friendships can be tricky to navigate, but you can find some clarity when you look inwards and put effort into becoming friends with yourself. You should discover what is important to you in friendships, and what kind of friend you might need. Understanding yourself will help you understand others.

On top of these things, it is important to give yourself grace. Making friends as an adult can be extremely difficult, especially after the pandemic. This difficulty only increases if you are introverted or have a hectic schedule. However, it is absolutely worth the effort to make new friends, and keep up with the old ones. Put in the effort, put yourself out there, and become friends with yourself to ensure you make beautiful friendships from now on.

References

Pearson, C. How to Make Friends as an Adult. (2022) New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/01/well/live/how-to-make-friends-adult.html
Lee, J.W. 5 Easy Tips for Making Friends as an Adult. (2023) NPR. https://www.npr.org/2023/05/17/1176641928/how-to-make-friends-anywhere-you-move
Walsh Miller, C. How to Make Friends as an Adult- and keep them. (2023) https://www.rd.com/article/how-to-make-friends-adult/